Speech of heart...

aku ada kawan baik, sangat-sangat baik sampai aku rasa aku perlu care kat dia, hari2 mesti chat, kdg2 boleh bergayut dh mcm bf n gf..aku admit yg aku syg kt dia..kami kenal dlm 3 thn lepas, dlm 2007, aku keje kt company dulu kt JB, kami rapat sbb satu kepala, buat lawak sama2, gile2, mkn sama2, hangout sama2, suke duka sume sama2 laa...

after a year aku pindah kl sbb dpt better offer tapi aku still contact dia lagi, ym, skype, calls, sms and dia pon ada gak dtg kl sbb future buy and ada masa aku jumpa dia...

lately, aku tatau sama ada aku atau dia yg aku rasa dh berubah, kalau aku(mungkin sebb period aku yg dah setahun lebih tak dtg) yg mengubah aku menjadi seorang yg sgt sensitif..ohh *wink wink* janganlah begini...aku boleh hilang seorang kawan keranamu...!!
mostly aku byk terasa dgn dia, sejak dia berpacaran dgn seseorang sampai aku rasa, aku tak kenal dia lagi...mana dia yg dulu? plus her bf doesn't like me!! ohh tatau kenapa...mungkin aku hanya someone yg dia tak perlu nk amik tahu sbb dia kaya n aku?? org kg jek kot..bestie aku ni mmg takleh jauh dgn aku, apa2 dia akan cal aku, bgtau aku, everythings, sampai aku tau dia gaduh dgn bf dia sbb apa...aku just dgr n bg nasihat tp bestie aku sgt degil!! dr situ aku mula terasa......bile dia perlukan aku dia call aku, when she's cry, i'll let myself free to listen to her instead of being "mama" to her..bukan nk ckp aku ni baik tp aku rasa aku perlu jaga dia, sbb dia kawan baik aku....and i know her before he know her...and the most IMPORTANT things is i dont expect any appreciation from her becoz kawan sejati ialah kawan yg ikhlas...

things come worst when we have so much plans together, holidays, hangout, weddings itu ini bla bla bla and it is ZERO..bile kite well-planned and get so much excited, this will happen..its NOTHING...now i learn from mistakes that "shouldn't get too excited on something coz end of the day it will comes to the word NOTHING"....tak payahla aku nk bg contoh apa dia kan..cukuplah aku yg tau.....

aku tak pernah salahkan dia dlm hal ni n aku SANGAT tau sbb apa dia mcm ni....mmg dia byk nak kene jaga hati org, its ok aku faham, hati aku takpe as long as she's happy....now aku rasa aku mcm dh "kehilangan" dia...ohhh aku rasa mcm laaa tatau la kalau dia betul2 nak "hilang" dr aku...byk benda dah kami lalui sama2...tak sanggup hilang seorang kawan baik...

entry ni aku tulis bukan nak mintak simpati atau apa2 yg boleh buat org bermasam muka tp hanya luahan rasa hati aku yg aku rasa sgt kecil pada masa ini...
anyway, kepada yg berkenaan, jagalah diri kamu baik2, sy sentiasa doakan yang terbaik utk kamu...yg penting kamu HAPPY.....this is for u, dear..just take care.....

"Friends Forever", you promised
"Together Till The End"
We did everything with each other
You were my Best Friend
When I was sad, you were by my side
When I scared, you felt my fear,
You were my best support
If I needed you, you were there,
You were the greatest friend
You always knew what to say
You made everything seem better
As long as we had each other
Everything will be okay

But,
Somewhere along the line
We slowly came apart
I was here, you were there
It tore a hole in my heart
Things were changing
Our cheerful music reserved its tuned
Its like having salt without pepper,
As sun without its moon

Suddenly we were miles apart
Two different people, with nothing the same
It was as if we hadn't been friends
Although we knew deep in our hearts
Neither one of us was to blame
You had made so many friends
And luckily so had I
But that didn't change the hurt
The loss of our friendship made me cry
As we grow older, things must change
But they don't always to end
Even though it is different now....

You will always be my best friend